


forever (on my lips)

by Phoenix_Allura (Artemis_Autumn_Marie)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, COC Percy Jackson, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Happy Ending, Hurt, POC Percy Jackson, Songfic, i guess, no i do not regret it, yes we are doing this in 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25519636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Autumn_Marie/pseuds/Phoenix_Allura
Summary: Annabeth wants to know,wants to know why.Why now, why him, why them?(she never gets her answers but she does get her peace.)This is a songfic, DL;DR.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	forever (on my lips)

[ _I still remember the look on your face_ ](https://youtu.be/1aoS2HI5xsk)

_Lit through the darkness at 1:58_

They’d taken to sleeping in the same bed, after. Taken to cuddling and talking and waking each other from the dreams. They’d go to breakfast tired but bright-eyed and smiling.

_The words that you whispered_

_For just us to know_

They’d made a great team for racing, for capture-the-flag, everything. They could warn with a glance and one word held the meaning of a thousand.

_You told me you loved me_

_So why did you go away_

_Go away_

They’d never talked about it. About what they would do if they ended, left, moved on, disappeared.

(most couples don’t.)

_I do recall now_

_The smell of the rain_

_Fresh on the pavement_

_I ran off the plane_

They’d lost each, before. Gone missing, gotten kidnapped.

Never like this.

(she couldn’t go to the ocean anymore.

didn’t want to.)

_That July ninth_

_The beat of your heart_

_It jumps through your shirt_

_I can still feel your arms_

Sometimes she’d grab the weighted blanket.

When her arms weren’t enough.

Enough to pretend.

(his heartbeat—she searched for one as soothing. She never found it.)

_But now I'll go sit on the floor_

_Wearing your clothes_

_All that I know is_

_I don't know how to be something you missed_

His mother offered her some of his clothes.

She sat on his bedroom floor, sobbing, for hours.

(the day they no longer smelled like him, the day she lost that little bit more of him, she cried herself to sleep.)

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss_

_Never imagined we'd end like this_

_Your name, forever the name on my lips_

They’d had plans, a life ahead of them. College (he’d taken a gap year, deciding), marriage, dreams. They wanted to spend their lives together. Before.

Before it was all ripped away, just like that.

Before she could breathe.

_I do remember_

_The swing in your step_

_The life of the party, you're showing off again_

_And I roll my eyes and then_

_You pull me in_

_I'm not much for dancing_

_But for you I did_

He’d surprised her, on her birthday.

They couldn’t go out, but he set up lights, tables, music, dinner.

A wonderful night, all for her.

And when their friends had given their gifts, sang, eaten and laughed and danced with her, when they turned into bed—after that was the best part.

He turned on one last song, something slow and sappy and sweet, the kind of song she’d never admit she liked, not really, and spun her around the tables.

She’d felt like a princess, dressed up and laughing, her prince grinning at her with bright green eyes.

They’d been so happy.

_Because I love your handshake_

_Meetin' my father_

_I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets_

_How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something_

_There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions_

He’d gotten more confident over the years. They both had.

He’d walked with his head held high, one hand in hers.

She pretended to be annoyed when she caught him watching her.

(her blush always gave her away.

his rarely did, skin too dark to show the flush that always appeared when he was caught.

it was something she’d miss, now. Catching him in a blush dark enough it showed on his face.)

_And I'll go sit on the floor_

_Wearing your clothes_

_All that I know is that_

_I don't know how to be something you miss_

Even with his scent faded, gone, she still wore his clothes.

It was a piece of him no one could take.

(she wished there was a way to miss him less, to make this hurt less.

she never did find one.)

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss_

_Never imagined we'd end like this_

_Your name, forever the name on my lips_

She thought back on their last day, the way he’d pulled back from their morning kiss, grinning, dark cheeks warm, and winked.

He’d promised to take her out for dinner, soon.

How less than an hour after that kiss, that promise, her world was changed for the worse.

How she woke in the night, calling.

Calling for him.

_So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep_

_And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe_

_And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are_

_Hope it's nice where you are_

She helped sort through his pictures—baby, child, teen, young man. She decided what to put up at his funeral, what she wanted to keep.

She laughed at the baby pictures, he’d been so cute.

She grinned at the boy he’d been, skateboarding.

She smiled fondly at the man she’d loved.

(and if she cried, only she knew.)

She wondered, once, twice, three times a day if he was waiting for her.

(he was laughing, peaceful at last.)

_And I hope the sun shines_

_And it's a beautiful day_

All she wanted, now, in the painful freshness of this grief was to be with him.

_And something reminds you_

_You wish you had stayed_

She was told his last words were asking for her.

_You can plan for a change in weather and time_

_But I never planned on you changing your mind_

If she had known-if she had known, she would have gone with him.

(if she’d gone with him, they’d both be dead.)

_So I'll go sit on the floor_

_Wearing your clothes_

_All that I know is that_

_I don't know how to be something you miss_

_Never thought we'd have a last kiss_

_Never imagined we'd end like this_

_Your name, forever the name on my lips_

She wore his second favorite dress; dark grey, matching her eyes, with green embroidery at the hem and sleeves.

Was he missing her, in death? Did he love her in death as he had in life?

She gave a eulogy; one of three.

It was both easy and hard. She could talk about him all day, but to speak of him in death-it didn’t feel real.

(it wasn’t the ending they deserved, but it was the ending they had.)

_Just like our last kiss_

_Forever the name on my lips_

_Forever the name on my lips_

_Just like our last_

She knelt at the grave, pressed a kiss to the now-worn stone.

As always, she put down flowers.

As always, she told him everything.

As always, she sent a prayer asking when it was her turn.

(sixty years later, a surprise baby and a wonderful job and three beautiful grandchildren later, and she was still asking.

she was so tired.

her fight was gone.)

As always, she cried.

Annabeth Chase—daughter of Athena, Hero of Olympus, single mother, architect, grandmother—cried for the too few years she’d had with him.

For the years he hadn’t had with their daughter, their grandchildren.

For the married couple they’d never gotten the chance to be.

But today, something was different.

Someone heard.

“Hey, Wise Girl.” He was smiling, young. 

And suddenly she was young, too, discussing wedding plans and date nights with her boyfriend of ten years, her fiance of two and a half. 

“How about we take one last adventure?” He offered his hand.

She took it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> In honor of the new ts8, I suppose.  
> I swear I am working on the 2019 whumptober prompts, for anyone who cares. (the next one is percabeth and nearly done.)  
> Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!  
> As always,  
> Nix  
> (p.s. - i'm referencing [this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25234753) with the dance section)


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